Faith
and the R.A. Job
By
Tina Bui,
Resident Assistant
Rutgers, The State University of New Jersey, Newark Campus
As
resident assistants (RAs), you will not only be a student, but
at the same time a staff member to this university. The position
you will hold will be an important one, a bridge between the administration
and the students...." Over half a dozen students, including myself, totally
doe-eyed and engrossed looked on, grasping each last word our supervisor
said, as if he possessed the secret of how to be a RA. Not just any RA,
but a remarkable and impacting RA. I was going to be a RA...
As
the assistant director of housing and residence life continued his speech,
I realized that throughout the application process and interviews for
the position, I had yet to fathom what being a RA was all about. Yeah,
I heard testimonies and experiences from the existing RAs, but a sinking
feeling gestated inside. My situation and adventures as a RA for the upcoming
school year would be different.
First, one would have to understand what a resident assistant is. Contrary
to popular belief, we are not like Noel from "Felicity"; we deal with
more confrontations, real-life situations, and yes sometimes
more drama. Even then, this is the just the gelatinous film on top of
the soup. As the position description states, we are selected on the basis
of our interests, skills, and abilities, which enable us to assist and
advise students in obtaining the most from their experience on campus.
I guess the relationship we create and build with each resident isn't
a one-way street; I would learn as much or more from my resident than
those just learning from me.
And how do we prepare ourselves as representatives to Rutgers-Newark's
Housing and Residence Life? A two-week training with full accommodations
consisting of: innumerable ice-breakers, guest speakers, conflict management
seminars, and my favorite a whole day in the Pennsylvania
mountains, where I climbed 30 feet up a tree, secured only by a self-fastened
polyester belt harness.
Then
came the day I dreaded Move-In Day. For the two weeks I had trained
to be a RA, Move-In Day seemed to be far away, but steadily, slowly drifting
to shore. But for a brief second, the fourteen stimulating and encouraging
days of preparation submerged in a whirlpool of doubt. How would my residents
accept me? What if they knew I was the only sophomore, the youngest, on
staff? What if I flopped to a bad start and for the rest of the year,
became the despicable, weak RA? Did the fact that I was ten feet shorter
than the rest of my floor (of plentiful athletes, and me at five foot
one and a half) matter? Should it?
All
the panic in the world seemed to thrash the self-confidence I had so delicately
sculpted, a sandcastle of trust that I had never understood before.
Only
I didn't let it. Niccolo Machiavelli's famous "Seize the day" quote undulated
through all the fear I psychologically fabricated, and I figured out that
if I walked around as a RA with self-doubt all the time, those fears I
cringed at most would come true. I was chosen as a RA for a reason. I
was about to understand why, and I finally looked forward to it.
It
has been almost two semesters since I've officially been a mentor, a policy
enforcer, a friend, and a part of the Residence Life team, and it has
been an enlightening, frustrating, and meaningful two semesters. And through
the bonding and laughter, feelings of disappointment and tearful breakdowns,
I have grown insightful. Not really wiser, but I've learned.
My
supervisor may not have held the secret of how to be a good RA. No "how
to" book does either. Not even the $2.99-a-minute psychic from TV. You
just have to be the person you were when you applied for the job, the
person people said things like "she has great potential to be something"
and meant. Because that's what being a RA is about. That's what being
human is all about.
No
one has the guide to being a successful RA. It's up to the individual.
(Kissing up, fearing your residents, or even being a doormat sure wouldn't
help, though actions of appreciation and adoration, like making jolly
rancher leis for each of your residents or dinner and a conversation for
those don't' go home for the weekends, do.) But I have a self-created
key to be triumphant- faith. I have faith in my residents, in my fellow
staff members, and at last, in myself.
About
the Author
Tina
Bui is a sophomore at Rutgers - Newark, double majoring in journalism
and political science. Born in Memphis, Tennessee, Bui was raised in Southern
California. Bui graduated from Long Beach David Starr Jordan High School
as Student Body President and Student Member to the Long Beach Unified
School District's Board of Education.
At Rutgers Newark Bui is a first-year resident assistant and Executive/Layout
Editor to The Observer, Rutgers Newark's weekly student newspaper.
Bui's goal next year is to be elected Editor-in Chief of The Observer.
Due to what she perceives as a conflict of interest, this is Bui's first
and last year as an R.A.