RA Stories: Other “Goat” Duties As Assigned

“Other duties as assigned”. We have all heard this phrase and seen it printed in the smallest possible font on our Resident Advisor contracts. Often it entails delivering phone books, collecting surveys, and other thoughtless work (RCRs), however I experienced the ultimate "other duty as assigned" during my time as a Resident Assistant.

It was a Friday evening on campus and all was quiet...too quiet. I was returning to the hall late with another RA friend after being out for some pizza when my critical incident thinking skills were put to the test.

As we approached our residence hall we noticed a police car near the entrance with a group of people standing around the lobby. Instantly the sight of Police in our building heightened our keen RA skills, and we knew it was our duty to assist in any way possible.

Upon entering the building we were approached by the Professional Staff on duty that asked for our immediate help, which we were fully ready and prepared to lend. She informed us of the situation at hand:

It was 11:30pm on a Friday night, and somewhere in our 10-floor twin tower complex housing 800 residents was a live goat roaming the hall. A GOAT! “Go”, our prostaff instructed, “Go find the goat and bring it to the lobby, and hurry!”

Off we went screaming through the halls like a first-year student being hazed by a fraternity. A goat! A goat! All that I could think was.... A goat? How, why, where did it come from? Who would leave a goat in a residence hall? This was all very peculiar and odd.

I have heard of RAs and incidents involving large snakes, or very polite and friendly half-baked controlled-substance users, but never have I heard of a goat in the hall! We charged the steps taking every other floor, and I was doing speed rounds. 2nd floor, then 4th, then 6th...and wait a second what is that in the 6th floor lounge?

DING! I am the lucky winner. Yes, I found the goat!

Have you ever tried to get a goat to go where you want it to go? Or perhaps even a better question. Have you ever interacted with a goat at all?

Okay, so at first I tried the shun method...which only caused the little hairy beast to urinate on the floor and my shoes. Secondly, I tried the push from behind method, which
basically caused the goat to move and for myself to spin around and around trying to keep up. Finally, after a number of tries and with the grace of God, I managed to maneuver the goat into the elevator. Once in the elevator, I pushed the button for the lobby, softly petted the goat to calm its nerves, and then started to think, Hmmm...this is interesting, what if the door opens before we reach the lobby? What will people say?

What will the goat do?...make a mad break for it? One thing goats do not particularly like is being in a closed tiny room made of metal, of which the floor is not particularly stable.

Yes, luckily for me we opened up on the lobby floor. Much to my surprise, the goat slowly staggered outside the elevator, and I was able to keep the goat still by petting it. The police office and prostaff member came over and asked a ton of questions, and
informed me that it was most-likely missing from the campus farm (which was located a couple of miles from campus). The officer then contacted another unit on his radio and was having some difficulty determining what course of action he should take.

My fellow RA friend that was out with me for pizza, volunteered to drive his Ford Ranger, and we decided to put the goat in the back. The officer thought this was an outstanding solution, so to make a long story longer. I ended up in the back end of my buddy's truck holding onto the goat as he drove to the campus farms followed by the officer.

In all it was quite a hullabaloo around the residence halls for the next couple of weeks, and it is a story that will be told to many future generation of RAs on campus for years to come.